I am so sorry for your loss. I have waited a few days to get my thoughts together as I know where your at right now. I cannot say anything that will help you right now but I can tell you things will get better. The process of grieving is long and hard and your loss is real and devastating. Know that I think of you and will be available to listen should you ever need to talk. May God bless you and your family.

The day John passed away there was a sunset whose afterglow embraced the breadth of the horizon in colors that were warm and seem to say that “John is with Us now, he is safe and his travail is over.”
Big John had boundless empathy for others. He was keenly aware of the anxieties, frailties and limitations of those around him and was always there with a strong back and a helping hand in a spirit that begged no recompense. He never lost sight of the humbling reality of his own humanity. From humility he drew strength and resolve for his family and friends.
Berefit of worldy trappings, sartorial accouterments were not his hallmark. To quote Rostand, “ I do not dress up like a popinjay, I wear my adornments on my soul.” Certainly, that was John Bottjer.
The last few months were not punctuated by self pity but an almost stoic acceptance of his fate. If there was ever a man prepared for and unafraid of death, it was John. If ever I knew a man who I am convinced is in Heaven, it is John.
His ordeal is now over and the broad shoulders and mild manner that were John Bottjer are gone. We will miss our friend, Big John.